Sunday, March 2, 2014

Step Eight - Made a List and Became Willing

Made a list of people we had harmed and became willing to make amends to the all.

The Male Chorus, of the New Salem Missionary Baptist Church in Columbus, Ohio, sings a song that says, “I got to fix up what I messed up. I am starting my life all over again.

The song is an excellent prelude to understanding the mission of Step 8 of the 12 Spiritual Principles. That mission is to make a list of all people we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

It is amazing how many people we hurt from the beginning of our self – destructive behavior until the moment we realize the only end to our behavior is our own death. When we begin to emerge from the darkness of our self-destructive pathology and begin the righteous work of our recovery to sanity and right living, we work the steps.

We work them thoroughly one after another because they help us put our life back together piece by piece.  All of the previous seven steps have led to Step 8.  

In Step 8, we are ready to continue our rebuilding process.  Now, we are ready to mend the many fences of broken relationships we caused by our reckless behavior. 

It is time to prepare the list of all people we have harmed. All the people we did not tell the truth and took advantage of must be on the list. All the people we physically harmed must be on the list. All the people we stole from must be on the list. All the people whose hearts we broke must be on the list.

Finally, if we are to really going to come clean, we must sing like the men of New Salem. I got fix up what I messed up. I am starting my life all over again.


Friday, January 31, 2014

Passionately Desperate for Change

Step Seven of AA of 12 - Spiritual Principles to Recovery -Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.

2nd Corinthian 12 vss 7 – 10 especially vs 9

7 And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.

8 For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.

9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

We are building on Step 6 from our last lesson. It said Step 6 - Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character . Step 7 - Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings

When we have hurt enough and passionately desperate enough we will do whatever it takes to get our lives back.  When we have worked Step 6 and declared we are entirely ready to have God remove all the defects of our character, we step it up a notch by asking god to remove them.

If we could have fixed ourselves, we would have already done it.  Because we cannot, we seek that power greater than ourselves that brings us hope for change. We ask God to do what only God can do.

Join me Sunday for the Teaching Ministry of New Eden as we share how God deals with our defects of character.

Friday, January 24, 2014

Step Six

"Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character."

Psalms 51 vss 2 – 12 2 Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. 3 For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. 4 Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest. 5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me. 6 Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom. 7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. 8 Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice. 9 Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities. 10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. 11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. 12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.

After working the first five steps, it is time to move on beyond our character defects that have prompted the challenges in our personal lives and our relationship.  Now, that our minds are clearer and we have the potential to move beyond the ugliness we have created. We make another startling discovery.  We cannot do it by ourselves.  We need help beyond our abilities.

We need help from the creator master blueprint maker grand architect of the universe to retool and redesign ourselves to live without our character defects and learn to live life beyond them.

Join me Sunday for the Teaching Ministry of New Eden to further explore Step Number Six if you are ready to have God remove all your defects of character.

Friday, January 17, 2014

Learning How to Trust - Step 5 of the 12 Spiritual Principles

The 5th Step of AA in our Series 12 Spiritual Principles to Recovery call on persons committed to the process of recovery to venture into the behavior of trust.

According to Reece and Brandt’ Work, Effective Human Relations in Organizations, ‘To trust another is to know the two of you share basic goals in the long run, so that left to do things your own way, you will manage in ways that are not harmful to the other.’

Step 5

Step Five says, “We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to one other human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”

Biblical texts that speak to Step 5 include 1st John 1 vss 8 - 10, especially vs 9 and James 5 vas 13 - 16," especially vs 16.

1st John 1 vss 8 - 10, especially vs 9

8 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
9 If we confess our sin, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all righteousness.
10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us.

James 5 vas 13 - 16," especially vs 16

13 Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing psalms.
14 Is anyone aiming you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord.
15 And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.
16 Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may healed. The effective fervent prayer of a righteous man available much.

Men and women who have not been trustworthy find it difficult to trust others.  The inability to trust self makes it difficult to trust others.  Self – destructive behavior’s effect on the emotional self alienates people from all their primary relationships. 
Intimate, parental and professional relationships suffer when users find it more important and responsible to be involved with their secret behavior.


AA believes that after men and women in recovery have worked the first four steps, they are ready for Step 5.  Join me Sunday for the Teaching Ministry of New Eden as we Learn How to Trust and work Step 5.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Step One Worksheet

STEP 1  WRITTEN  INVENTORY

Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.

Consider these questions, borrowed from meetings and recovery literature. Add your own.  Further develop this worksheet in your own notebook. Consider responding in detail with specific examples, rather than rote yes's or no's.

POWERLESSNESS

Body - the physical compulsion [compelled to act]
What were all of the types and amounts of alcohol and drugs I used, from my first time to the present? What did it cost me or others – purchases, income, fines? Emotional cost?



When have I experienced the abnormal physical reaction to alcohol? [‘One drink leads to another.’ Suggestion: Describe the last drink or a similar episode in detail.]



When did I recognize that I lost control of my drinking? [I drink to excess. I cannot stop when I want to. Heard in a meeting: “When I drink  I break out in a binge.”]



In what ways have I attempted, and have failed, to control my drinking? Did I use alcohol, or did alcohol use me? 



What were the things I did while acting out on my disease that I would never do when focusing on recovery? (ie: destructive behavior, loss of memory and blackouts, being abusive physically or verbally, insane and suicidal behaviors, etc.)



What would my life be like if I admitted being powerless over alcohol and other dysfunctional behaviors?



In what ways has my disease been active recently? How do I behave compulsively?

STEP 1 WRITTEN INVENTORY

II     UNMANAGEABILITY

Mind - The mental obsession [besieged, haunted] (obsessed with self = self-centeredness)

When and how has my mind told me that one drink will not hurt?



How did jails or institutions take over the management of my life at different times?



How am I addicted to changing my mood?  What was I trying to change?  In what ways am I addicted to looking outside of myself for exterior things to change the way I feel?



Are there situations that I fear will be so painful that I will drink again?



How is my addictive thinking and behavior manifested in my life today? Be specific.



What is it like when I am obsessed with someone or something?



Do I maintain a crisis mentality, reacting to every challenge as a personal insult? How has this affected my life? 



Do I insist on having my own way? Do I consider the needs of others? How has this behavior/attitude affected my relationships?



What in my life, can I truly manage? 



What managed my life when using, and what manages my life in recovery?



The download for this worksheet is found at Steps by the Big Book


Sunday, December 29, 2013

What You Think Matters

Prologue
Living souls with human consciousness arrive with raw sensory data pouring in that can only be stored, not understood.  Eyes open seeing.  Ears hear.  Feeling feels.  Taste wants.  Vocal chords sound.  Noses smell.  None has idea of what is going on.  Anxiety attack number one has begun.  It is not until the new one feels the clutched closeness to feel the known music and rhythm of the drum it has known during pod season does a sense of security and calm come.
The announcement follows of     I AM     here in the first cries of wanting and needing what cannot be expressed.  The one who holds the new arrival places a nourishing part of her body near to the new one’s mouth and the installed software programmed instinct of nature older than time itself generates a connection of call and response satisfied.  Ahhhhhhhhh, this is happiness.  Did you know there was an app for that?
This is the human lot for a lifetime.  We do not know what we do not know.  We take steps into the unknown to begin to catalogue our experience of data collection.  We learn quickly the law of cause and effect.  We learn that if we cry loud enough long enough our cause, an effect will follow, one we hope will satisfy.  From these experiences of data collection, we begin to think and then to manipulate all things external to ourselves to get what we want.  This is our design.  This is how the Creator has made us.  This is why WHAT YOU THINK MATTERS.
Introduction of the Message Text
Your reality is not just what you say it is, it is what you think it is says Jesus in Mark 11 vss 17a and 22b – 26.

17a and he taught saying unto them, “Is it not written, MY HOUSE SHALL BE CALLED BY ALL NATIONS THE HOUSE OF PRAYER?

22b Have faith in God.

23 Truly, I tell you, if you say to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and if you do not doubt in your heart, but believe that what you say will come to pass it will be done for you. (Our ADD at all ages and stages prevent focus on this powerful revelation).

24 So I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, (NOW, already) and it will be yours.  How the successful person acts in the role or goal we desire, we must manage our behavior and live as if our achievement is already a fact.  Those of us who have completed published works saw ourselves with completed published works as published authors long before accomplishment.  We saw our degrees before we earned them.  We write our scripts before we act them out and realize their achievement all the while living as if we already have them.  WHAT YOU THINK MATTERS.

The Jesus Addendum

Incidentally and parenthetically, Oh and by the way one more thing

25 and 26 “Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone; so that God in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.

A bit of information on the text, vs 22 b, Oxford Research Notes on some ancient authorities believe the original languages did not just say ‘have faith.  Their comment suggests a better understanding would be to say, ‘if you have.’ 

We have what appears to be Jesus teaching with direction.  The subject of this sentence that is unseen but understood is the pronoun “YOU” to each individual and to the group.  He was speaking directly to those gathered around him.

Down south, the text might have easily had unspoken pronoun represented by, “YA’LL.”  There is also the unspoken but clearly established “WHEN” of the implication of the teaching.  The “WHEN” is “NOW” “RIGHT NOW!”

Right now if you have faith in God, nothing can stand in your way.  Today, we must face the question.  Since, I am a Christian, why do I, why do we seem to face so many mountains and why do we perceive so many things in our way?

Henry Ford, the Founder of the Ford Motor Company said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right.”

What we say and what we do reveals what we really think of ourselves.  Hard luck feel sorry for me stories conform to one of the first laws revealed in Genesis.  Every seed reproduces fruit after its own kind, Genesis 1 vs 11.  Keep planting hard luck feel sorry for me stories out your mouth from your seeded thoughts and they have no choice but to come to full harvest. Ultimately, what you know means nothing.  What you think means everything.  WHAT YOU THINK MATTERS.

Dark Nights of My Soul, St. John of the Cross

In my own experience, I have known some dark nights of the soul.  Depression is the clinical identifier of this demon.  Depression can express itself as outwardly aggressive and hostile anger or it can manifest internally into an experience of sadness that feels like sinking in quicksand at midnight.  I don’t know if you have had moments like this.  Whatever way you turn to help yourself get free, you feel like you are sinking deeper and deeper into a darkness that might hold you in a sad forever. 

Once Bonnie noted this was taking place in me.  One afternoon, she had come home from work and found me on the couch in our first house.  She looked at me and said with all the brave and tough love she could muster, “You have to get up from there and do something.”  Her heart and the passionate intensity of her voice had touched me where I hurt and felt sorry for myself and called me back to life.

The conflict in this testimony is that I am the one God has used to draw many out of their dark nights.  Many across the world (women and men) have acknowledged me as their rescuer from their conditions of emotional hell, an invulnerable knight in shining armor superman all the while without knowing I too am not immune.

15 years later and living in Phoenix, my daughter Micha became my next champion.  I had fallen into a funk.  I had called her to tell her my latest sad luck story of how bad it was when she abruptly stopped me mid – sentence.  She said without hesitation, “Dad, how much more of that do you want?” Like Bonnie years earlier, her heart and the passionate intensity of her voice had touched me where I hurt and felt sorry for myself and called me back to life.

Like others of you here, my children and my friends, I have laid on your couches to tell you sad stories of my perceptual engagement of life and your voices and loving hearts like Bonnie’s and Micha’s touched me where I hurt and felt sorry for myself and called me back to life.

Can you hear this song right and feel my experience and maybe occasionally yours?  I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore, very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more, but the Master of the Seas heard my despairing cry, from the waters lifted me, now safe am I.  Love lifted me.  Love lifted me.  When nothing else could help, Love lifted me. WHAT YOU THINK MATTERS.

The Question

Proverbs 23 vs 7 says, “As we think of ourselves in our hearts, so are we.” 

When we discover that it is our thinking that forms what happens in our lives, what should our immediate course of action be?  When the 49ers, not the football team, were chasing gold mid – nineteenth century in California, they immediately went where news of gold strikes sounded.  Where is your our gold to be found?
Acres of Diamonds, writing and speech made famous by Russell Cromwell, earned enough money to found Temple University.  He delivered the speech 5000 times after writing it in the last decade of the 19th Century.    In the speech, he told the story of a man searching for diamonds.  He sold everything he possessed, lands and all to search for them. 

The man who bought his land was walking it one day when he kicked a big rock.  Curious about the stone, he had it examined and processed leading to the discovery of the world’s largest diamond.  The man who had sold him the property who left in search of diamonds had owned what would become the world’s largest diamond mine.   Where are your our diamonds to be found and what opportunity are you missing right where you are? WHAT YOU THINK MATTERS.

Jesus’ Answer

According to the proclamation of Jesus, our gold and our diamonds begin with what we believe and think about ourselves. As we think of ourselves, so are we.  If we think we are losers, we are right.  If we think we are winners, we are right.  If we think of ourselves as victims of a mean society because we are black and male, we will find a way to prove we are right.  If we think of ourselves as victims of any form of abuse, we will find a way to prove we are right. 

If on the other hand, we have the clever audacity to exercise the privilege of human intellect to believe what Jesus has revealed to us, we can have what we say we want.  Listen to the words of Jesus from Matthew 19 vs 26, “With men on their own functioning only from the limits of their fear based awareness, this is impossible; but with God, men and women unafraid to live by faith, discover all things are possible.

My friend, the late Dr. Robert Letcher taught all who worshipped at the Christ Center Church in Ashland, Kentucky, “Faith never rises above the level of confession.”  Confession is affirmation with Jesus clothes on.

The regular and continuous confession of the man and woman of Christ Centered Faith might regularly confess what God told Moses: I am that I am.

I am a living soul transformer because my mind is renewed and energized with thoughts that build me up.

I am a victorious winner always striving for the positive, the excellent.

I am a soul inspired by prayer, meditation, and study to do great things in Jesus’ name.

I am a loved son of the most high God and a man after God’s own heart.

I am the voice that speaks into existence what I want to show up in my life.

I am a healthy spirit, soul and body and an agent of healing to others.

I am love that cares empowered by the intelligence that comes from God.


Conclusion:  Right now, YA’LL, IF you have faith in God, nothing can stand in your way to keep you from accomplishing your goals.  The sho nuff true truth is that the only power that can stop you from succeeding is you.  When what you think is right, what you believe is right.  When what you believe is right, what you affirm to God, yourself and others on a regular basis is right.  Not even a mountain called impossible can stop you because nothing is impossible for God and nothing is impossible if you have faith in God.  Nothing is impossible with God and nothing is impossible if you have faith in God. WHAT YOU THINK MATTERS.

Friday, December 20, 2013

Step Three - 12 Spiritual Principles to Recovery to Relationship with God, Self, and Others



Step Three:  Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the will of God as we understood God.
In Step 1, we recognized we were powerless over our self-destructive behavior and that our lives had become unmanageable. 

In Step 2, we came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.  We cried out for help.  

In Step 3, we make the intentional conscious choice because we have made an extreme mess of our lives to turn our willful intention to God as we believe in God to save our lives and mind, restore us to sanity.

The 12 Spiritual Principles humble those of us who self – destructive behavior has taken us down to our lowest level.  Here we acknowledged, we have not only not made quality choices for our lives, we need and desire the influence and leadership of God to re – orient us to right living, loving and productivity.

When we visited the disrespectful son of Luke 15 in Step 2, in Step 3, we examine his return more closely.  From information observed, we discover an approach regarded the last thing to nothing left to lose.  We have cried out for help in Step 2 and now in Step 3 look to the Creator of the Universe to save us from our self – destructive history and ourselves.

We note the disrespectful son from the end of his self – destructive run saying to himself that his father’s workers have it better than him.  He will return home and submit himself to his father’s service.

When you have discovered yourself at the bottom of your self – destructive behavior with nowhere else to go but the grave, where did your thoughts seek help?  Did you keep trying to fix yourself without success, or were you so desperate you were willing to call out to God to save you from yourself.

Even Jesus had to submit himself to the will of God when his way would have avoided the pain, suffering and humiliation of the cross.  Learn how to save ourselves, turn your lives around and, do Step 3 of the 12 Spiritual Principles to Recovery to relationship with God, self and others when you join me this week from theTeaching Ministry of New Eden and Oscar Crawford Christian Media.