Sunday, September 15, 2013

"Four Weeks to Renegotiate a New Relationship"

Four weeks to negotiate a new relationship through intense intentional engagement in negotiation, renegotiation, deal making and sealing the deal can lead to the design of a more loving and productive relationship.  Women and men living in love and long-term relationships find it responsible to communicate with each other to make sure the relationship provides a mutually satisfying experience.  When concerns are noted, conversations take place to manage them in the most effective way.

Euphoric Love

A Hebrew Bible paraphrase of the Song of Solomon, Chapter 2 and verse sixteen reveals a woman declaring her love saying, “All of me is given to my love and he may take his fill of me.” The initial euphoria of love is so intensely good feeling, there is nothing one will not do for love.

Challenged Love
  
Challenges develop when the euphoria peaks and a real person is left behind.  When both discover they loved the euphoria and not with each other, relationship suffers.  This leads to the Hebrew Bible paraphrase of Proverbs twenty – one and verse nineteen, “It is better to live alone in the desert than with an angry nagging woman.” 

The journey from shared euphoric love to shared challenged love is a short one.  Recovery from unhappiness in long-term relationship requires the best that mature people can bring to resolve their situation. 

Negotiate and Renegotiate

To negotiate means to discuss something formally to reach agreement.  Shakespeare said, “Let every eye negotiate for itself and trust no agent.”  By this, he meant nobody represents our interests better than we do.  In relationship, each party must negotiate for their interest and be willing to engage each other and work towards agreement in the interests of both.  To renegotiate means to discuss again the details of an agreement to make it better.  It means to negotiate repeatedly if necessary.

Make a Deal and Seal It
Each must ask tough questions.  Each must be mature enough to ask for what is wanted and needed.  Each must honestly reveal their willingness to love and live in love through intentional sharing of themselves and their resources to the mutual satisfaction of each other.  This willingness includes being giving, being forgiving, and understanding the needs of each other and being willing to give of self to meet those needs with love as the motivation.


Four weeks of intense intentional engagement in negotiation, renegotiation, deal making and sealing the deal can lead to the design of a design of a more loving and productive relationship.  In Week 1, love each other enough to negotiate your interests.  In Week 2, renegotiate your interests to make sure each gets as much of what they want as possible.  Be willing to give to each other in ways that bring each other joy.  In Week 3, make a deal you can live with and believe in.  Make sure, there are scheduled times for looking back over the deal to see if it is working as designed.  Be willing to make adjustments if necessary.  In Week 4, seal the deal however you have negotiated to seal the deal and enjoy it.

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